Pregnant and Pathetic

And I feel like Crap.
I have pretty much spent the last three months in bed sleeping.
Nesta loves to sleep right on top of me.

I was warned about the morning sickness but the tiredness and the migraines are ridiculous.
At 12 weeks I was feeling much better, then I received a special gift from Brian ...The Flu!
Yay for me!! Normally the flu is not a huge deal just more of an annoyance. However, when your pregnant everything feels worse. And I can't take ANY medicine. No DayQuil, no cough medicine, no nasal spray. Are you kidding me? My dad was a pharmacist. I grew up thinking there was a magic pill for everything. What am I to do?

On a more positive less whiny note I had an ultrasound this week and Bri and I got to see the baby!! By far the most amazing experience to date! Pictures to follow of our first ultrasound.

Brian and I had an amazing Valentine's weekend, although both sick, we were able to spend a lot of time alone together, (without the kids our niece and nephew) it was very quite and relaxing around our house.
I couldn't ask for a more caring or thoughtful husband. He takes such great care of me, even when I am a neurotic nightmare to be around.
I can't wait to see him as a dad!!!


I will never forget the day I found out my sister had Breast Cancer! Sitting at work I just stared at the wall and cried. Feeling so alone and helpless myself I could only imagine how scared she must be. The lump she found in her breast would be removed with a single mastectomy and a summer of chemo. The DOCTORS recommended that she only get a single mastectomy because she was young and still wanted to carry and breast feed a child.

My family approached her and the cancer very cautiously, not knowing what her reaction would be. Much to our surprise she was extremely upbeat and strong only saying," I WILL beat this!!" Going about her life like nothing had changed was so inspiring to me. I often said, though not to her, that I would have crawled up in my bed or bathtub (always mine and my sisters favorite comfort spot) if I was in the same position.

Being a hairdresser I thought she will go crazy when she starts to lose her hair and has to shave it. Instead she came home with the biggest smile and cutest Mohawk I had ever seen on a GIRL! I was so envious of her new found confidence and "I don't give a shit" attitude! Soon after starting chemo I saw less and less of her that summer, ignorantly thinking that she had become selfish and overlooked her "role" in our close family. Throughout her first bought with chemo she rarely missed a day of work and wasn't as sick as I expected. She bought sexy and sassy wigs one in every color and rocked it everyday. Never missing a social event with her extremely active group of friends she continued to look amazing! Having weight issues since high school she quickly started dropping weight and feeling better about herself. I was so jealous! At the end of her chemo treatments and several breast reconstructive surgeries we got the all clear on her cancer.
FOUR months later she found a lump in the other breast and her lymph nodes were swollen not a good sign. Hesitantly going to her doctor it was official the cancer had come back in her other breast. The doctors did a round of tests to see if this rapidly growing cancer had spread. I was with my husband my mom and my sister the night the doctor called. We had all gone to dinner and wanted to be with her awaiting the results from her doctor. After dinner we went to Mervyn's to find her some new comfortable bras. When her phone rang the look on her face said everything. As she sank down the wall to the floor the doctor told her the cancer had spread to her spine, spinal fluid her lymph nodes in her neck and a few spots on her liver! The doctor told her it was terminal and and she had less then 2 years to live!! For the first time she looked and felt defeated! She tried extremely hard to have the same outlook as she had previously but doctors told her nothing but bad news.
From that point on her health went down hill quickly! She got a second mastectomy and started chemo and radiation.
Having recently moved back to LA for my husbands career all I wanted for my birthday was for her and my mom to come visit for my birthday. The guilt I feel now for being mad at her for not being able to come haunts me everyday!!! A week later I went home to visit and asses the situation. My mom picked me up at the airport and immediately took me to the hospital where her husband had taken her the night before for not being able to to hold down any food or water for days. I walked into her room and for the first time she looked so sick! I stayed with her for a few hours as everyone else was at work, trying to get her to eat or drink anything. Suddenly right before my eyes I thought she had a stroke. The right side of her face drooped dramatically, she was slurring her words and she couldn't feel her right arm. Not wanting to scare her I made and excuse and ran out of the room notifying the doctors and requesting an immediate transfer up to the Huntsman Cancer Institute.
Having only planned on coming for a visit I immediately knew there was no way I could go back to California. This time she was severely sick even blacking out for 3 weeks! She suddenly lost her ability to walk or even stand from the cancer on her spine.

If you can't beat um...?

As some of you may know I am not a big sports fan, not a little one either but that's besides the point. I married a professional athlete, Captain of the US Olympic Soccer Team to be exact and although he has since retired our life is strictly soccer oriented. So after two blissful years of marriage I am letting my guard down.

US Soccer in Crossroads and Crosshairs

Having drinks with some old friends Sunday night we met a few new friends. Including Mike who works for Adidas, which is the company that sponsored Bri for most of his career. Thankfully Adidas supplied Bri with shoes and clothes for the rest of his life! Whenever he says he needs new shoes I just tell him to go into our storage room and pull out the suitcases full of never been worn goodies!

Well I have found some really cute girl stuff for me at Adidas! Thought I would share some of my new favorite desires with ya'll.

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Stella McCartney's line for Adidas is my fave

 adidas - Studio Tee Q5

Women's Studio Tee

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Yoga Tank

 adidas - adilibria Hoodie  adidas - Rhythm Knit Track Top

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Movin On

Bri and I have been living in Sherman Oaks, CA for the last six months.

Not that we are physically here very often, Bri is constantly traveling for work. Isn't he so
handsome, he will kill me for putting this picture up but payback is a ?!

Meanwhile I was spending as much time as possible with my sissy in Utah.

Trying to get back into a "normal routine" just doesn't feel right. How do we live our life without the people we love?...

So we are now officially house hunting in Hermosa Beach again!! Yeah! Extremely stressful moving again but it will be worth it in the end. Brian and I always had a goal to move back to Hermosa, we just didn't realize it would be so soon!

My Sissy

Juel July Jensen Sears

Juel July Jensen Sears

Juel Jensen Sears 1972 ~ 2008 Our precious "jewel", Juel July Jensen Sears, returned to our Heavenly Father on July 27, 2008. Her "ball of fire" attitude gave her the courage and strength to fight an insidious 18 month battle with breast cancer. Juel was born November 12, 1972 in Salt Lake City to Pam (Andersen) and Arnold Scott Jensen. She married the love of her life, Andrew Garrett Sears on August 7, 1999. And from this union created a beautiful family and inviting home. Their dog Zoe was a constant significant companion. Juel was a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. She attended Skyline High school, finishing her senior year at Davis High. In life Juel was daddy's little girl. She loved working by his side at Rite Aid as his pharmacy technician in Holladay. She earned an associates degree from Salt Lake Community College and later received her cosmetology license from Taylor Andrews School of Cosmetology. Working at Static Hair Salon was the culmination of a life long dream. Styling allowed her to exercise her creative talents while developing enduring friendships. Juel's greatest gift was her ability to win a person's heart within minutes. She enriched a multitude of people's lives. Juel's friends are boundless and to name one would negate another. Her concern for others knew no bounds and she loved her husband and family beyond words. Juel is survived by her husband, Garrett; mother, Pam Andersen Jensen; sister, Jade Ashley (Brian) Dunseth, Los Angeles, CA; brother, Brady Scott (Heather) Jensen and their five children, Riverton; mother-in-law, Colleen Ash; and father-in-law, Andrew Sears, brother-in-law, R. Paul (Jen) Sears, and their two children, sisters-in-law Lindsay and Kelly Ash, Aunt Vannene Partington of Kaysville; Aunt Gwen and Uncle Alma of Richfield. She was preceded in death by father, Arnold Scott Jensen; and father-in-law, Terry W. Ash. The magic Juel gave to all was her incredible smile, laugh and passion for life. Juel's favorite quote was, "Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take but by the moments that take your breath away.". And this is the way Juel lived her life. Funeral services will be held Fri. August 1, 2008 at 12 noon at Wasatch Lawn Mortuary, 3401 South Highland Drive, Salt Lake City, Utah. A viewing will be held Thurs. evening from 6-8 p.m. at Wasatch Lawn, and also one hour prior to the service on Fri. Interment will be at Richfield Cemetery Friday at 5 p.m. Funeral Directors: Magleby Mortuary, Richfield, Salina, Manti. Online guestbook at


OK so tomorrow is February 1st and as if 2007 wasn't hard enough, losing my Aunt Carol, my Dad, my uncle Norm my brother-in-laws step father, not to mention numerous friends, along with my Sister getting breast cancer, I was anticipating 2008! Well I just found out that my sisters cancer has returned in the breast that she didn't have cut out of her! (Sorry to be so graphic but this is how I feel)!! Why? Is all I want to know...I just keep thinking she is the nice one in the family. As if she hasn't gone through enough, now she has to do it all over again and that is the least of it. She will have to have a screening done and a lymphnoid checked next week and we are just praying that it hasn't spread! It was Valentines Day exactly one year ago that we found out about her breast cancer, and here we are again one year later. Seriously?! She and I just got back from an awesome weekend in LA where we went to see the Garth Brooks concert and to get into some trouble. After bull riding on Sunset, running in the rain and mimosa for breakfast at the beach, I was praying that when we returned her results would come back negative. To no Avail! I can honestly say that I would trade her places in a heart beat...I love her that much. But God doesn't seem to work like that so here we go again!

Garth Brooks - The Ultimate Hits CD
The Garth Brooks concert that we went to at the Staples Center was selling "Pink Edition" Ultimate Hits album and $10 goes to Susan G. Komen for the Cure. It is an awesome 3 disk set and for only $15 and you can still get them online.

Damn you Clips

So Tony and I went to Uranium Stadium tonight to watch my Clippers take on the Jazz. This is the proof the Clips led at one point.

At the very least, I got to see the Alien Sam Cassell!!

Why We Can't Have Babies!

While forcing Brian to join me in organizing and throwing out all of our excess Shit (Calm down...I am not using shit as an offensive word or speaking about feces, but rather to describe the magnitude of things we have both accumulated over the years and its worthless existence in our house, so bear with me) he stumbled upon a rather large box of stuffed animals. These stuffed animals are probably from exes and or 12 year old fans or obsessed soccer moms back from his "glory days". Well, he decided to give the only stuffed animal out of the huge box that sheds incessantly to Nesta. Was there some sentimental value there Dunseth?
So to my surprise this morning this if how I find Nesta's little stuffed monkey!

Yes as you can see she ripped the innocent monkeys eyes out! And Brian wonders why I insist Nesta be put away when we have friends over, especially toddlers and infants. He just keeps promising that Nesta just wants to give our poor guests kisses, but as you can see Mr. Dunseth, I am right again.

Current Dunseth Score
Brian 3
Jade 53

Get back in your bat cave!

This is what we found this evening. Little bastardo!

This is what I faced this morning

This fun little obstacle was in my way this morning for no reason whatsoever.

Both ways east and west.

Oh, Jade's gonna be pissed!

Looks like Jessica Seinfield is getting sued along with husband Jerry for stealing and slandering.. Sounds like it's gonna get interesting!

Don't you just hate when people make you feel uncomfortable?

A great show

If you want to see some great shows, check out A&E Psychic Kids and Paranormal State. Some interesting views on some very special children..

The Patrick's

Tuffer, Staci and Dayton came over for dinner tonight. While Dayton was downstairs watching Jungle Book and Little Einstein,the adults were upstairs crushing some Paella, pita bread and caprese' that Jade made.
Old school stories about the Upland Celtic were being thrown around, where Tuffer and I played together. This is Dayton rockin the BP hat.

It may be

It may be cold as hell outside tonight, but it sure is purdy after is snows.

Three guesses

I'll give you three guesses to what we're going to do at Brighton..

Just three..

Happy Birthday little brother

Ok, where has the time gone? I know I'm 30 (which makes me want to throw up just thinking about) and I'm not sure how it happened, but now my brother Nick is turning 24 and I just don't understand.
I get this whole calendar system and the fact my little sister Whitney (20) is also an adult (don't get me started), but this is just not right.
What happened to braces, the first time he had to shave and that big brother/little brother talk where I found out he already knew about those birds and those bees.
Jade and I just watched our wedding video for the first time last night and while being the best man, Nick had the duty of first toast which he killed. He's never done life anyway other than his own and I love him more than I could ever express, so Happy Birthday man. I love you.

Missi, the dangerous one

We always show a lot of love to Rohan and Nesta, but what about that other dog you ask? You know, the one who sits on the counter all day long? The one who won't walk on hard wood floors? The one whose tongue hangs out the right side of her mouth?

This is Missi, Jade's baby and she's been around a whole lot longer than I have. Missi is estimated to be around 5 or 6 years old and will bite your ankle if you're not careful.

So that's Nesta as our home security system and Missi as our achilles slasher. Just a little warning.

Don't you love finding old pictures?

A couple of days ago I found and posted a few pictures from my single days in Sweden. Today, after a day of snowboarding and dinner at Chipotle with my wife, I found these pictures.

It's a little gross, but High/Low can get that way sometimes.

The beggar

Jade and I get up, start some breakfast and while we're doing that, this is what we get. Nesta will sit patiently for a minute or two, then we get the look. Then it's a "snarf" and if she still hasn't gotten any food, it's a full out high jump competition!


Missing the days of laughter
shakes, trash days, Jim and Mary's
avocados, roses, beach trips and bike rides
peanut butter waffles and Go fish
So many things taught back then when my understanding was growing
now I understand
the person I am is because of you
morals, personality, it's all because of you
and even though almost 16 years have passed
you're in my mind everyday, constantly helping
knowing I don't always make the right decisions
but trying to
utilizing the work ethic taught by you
wishing I could still fix a car
laughing when i can't and think of you immediately
wishing you could still take me by the hand
teaching me all the things I'm clueless about
wondering if I will only get to see you in my dreams
that one time in a blue moon
the madness of life blurring visions
chapters of the night, fighting with myself
falling victim to fading memories
remembering the relationships you made
that is the person I strive to be
but you already know that because you are already with me
everyday, every experience, every thought

Trying to watch Planet Earth

For Xmas Jade got me the box set of Planet Earth, a show I absolutely love. But, this is what happens when we try to watch a DVD.

It starts with Nesta listening, then jumping up because she wants to play with whatever animal is on the screen.

When she can't figure how to get to them, she looks around the corner in hopes of finding them behind the television.

That guy

So this guy, wait, THAT GUY to the right is Joe. I found this picture that he'd sent to me a LONG time ago and I just can't help myself. I have to show the 3 people who read this site this picture.

Quite possibly the funniest person i know, Joe will be heading out to LA and then driving back to Salt Lake with me. I cannot wait!

Lowered Expectations

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WARNING! (I would first like to apologize for my frequent use of exclamation points in the following rant. Thank you for your time.)

So for the past two and a half weeks I have been a stay at home........WIFE? Yes, I quit my job exactly 1 week before Christmas for some dramatic reason not mentioned here, and quite possibly a Pre-menstrual and unintentional Prozac detoxification panic attack. So all day long I stay home! "Great" some may say, "you are so lucky" I have been told. NO NO NO! I am bored and going out of my mind, I want to go to work everyday, please someone give me a job! What have I done? My home has been cleaned, organized and reorganized from top to bottom, something I normally love doing , but I AM SO OVER IT. So here I sit blogging away in the middle of the day and painfully realizing....I like to work, no, love to work! Oh no when did this happen? I was not supposed to be this girl. I was destined to be "banking off my husband" by the time I turned 25, right? I feel like such a failure I have disappointed my family and past friends with this enjoying working nonsense. I knew I shouldn't have gone to college and become an "educated woman". I should have stuck to the ditsy promotions girl gig I had set up for myself and not let anyone know that I was capable of being a communications director and magazine editor at age 25. Now not only do other people now have higher expectations of me but I have higher expectations for myself! Eeeewwww!

And another one..

This is THE Jamaican Wolde Harris and I in the hotel in Gothenburg before our last practice, before our last game. Wolde and I had played together in New England for a couple of season, so when he joined the team in Sweden, my partner in crime was back.